pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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