rhymes with "ouble enetration"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
