do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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