Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
