I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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