i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
