We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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