i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
