he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I will be naked everywhere
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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