Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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