I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
