You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
