omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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