Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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