I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
