24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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