I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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