Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She even gives head with a lisp.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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