I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize