The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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