I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
This is not my ceiling
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize
