fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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