You're completely useless in the revolution.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
