I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
the liver wants what the liver wants
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
