It's Friday. Sex?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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