i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just threw up on my dentist
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
