Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
