Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
