i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We need a shit load of segways right now
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
