3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
