so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Pants are for mortals
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize