Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize