no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
