It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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