The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
