Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just had sex bonerless
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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