I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
