I've blown a few things in my day
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
