haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
