I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
the raccoons are back...
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