You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
