1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
