Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i already hear my dad disowning me
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
