If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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