But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
