The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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