she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
