Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
