It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We named our party play list daddy issues
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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