got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
