I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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