2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
