Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
