I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
