Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize