i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize