omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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